If you’re like me, you have never in your life heard about the likes of “Panty Crickets”. I had the good fortune to be enlightened about the mysterious creatures during our farrier appointment Monday. Our farrier, who is also a master storyteller and one of my all-time favorite people, had been busy talking to Jessica as she held horses for him on Monday. I’m usually around on farrier days to hear the latest commentary on current events, politics, hunting, cadaver dogs, and guns. Due to my recent contest with Jeff, however, I was out on a run during the morning and missed out on some crucial information.
Dave and Jessica were still busy working on McKinley, so I started tacking up Gus. While I was standing there I figured it would be as good a time as any to trim the top of his tail with my scissors. Thousands of short little tail hairs (like 1/2 of a cm long) got stuck all over my breeches. If you know anything at all about horse hair, you know that those little suckers can go right through most materials and feel like tiny needles poking your skin. I proceeded to try to pull some of them out, picking at my breeches in an almost obsessive attempt to rid myself of the annoyance. Minding my own business, I happen to glance up as Dave and Jessica began snickering. Then Dave says….(in a fake southern accent)….”she must have a case of the Panty Crickets”. Both he and Jessica proceeded to laugh themselves silly. Feeling a bit on the lost side, I said “What did you say???” Killing themselves laughing, they began to tell me a story that basically involved a woman who constantly plucked at her pants to rearrange her underwear ….or as Dave says…..had a bad case of the panty crickets. There is much more to the story, but in order to keep from getting myself into trouble, I will leave it at that. So, the next time you think about rearranging your underwear or plucking sharp horse hairs off of your breeches, remember the panty cricket…….and maybe invest in a panty cricket motel for your back pocket.